I have come here to share the struggles that my family has been through since our lives were changed due to Operation Iraqi Freedom. Times have been tough and many times it has been really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For the longest time I did not plan too far into the future because I was so scared that our lives would change so drastically again that planning was just a waste of time. Over the past few months I started to realize that even though I def need to have my days to be mad and upset, I need to embrace life.
Step one involved seeing a counselor. I avoided this for so long because I really thought I had it together yet I began to see the changes in myself that I did not like. I was more irritable than I had ever been. I was yelling at my kids for the smallest things. I was just unhappy and I could not pinpoint the reason why. I have a great husband and two amazing little boys, why was I having so much trouble being happy? I would met people who were smiling all the time and were just plain joyful as mean as it sounds I would be angry with them. Why are they so damn happy? I see now that they are happy because they are alive. I let the changes in my life bring me down and hold me down for a long time but I am finally turning things around. I have made plans to do things I have said I was going to do for years. I planned a trip to visit my family after three years of not visiting. The best thing is that in June I will finally be graduating from college!
I am very excited and proud to have made it this far. Graduating college is an accomplishment in itself. It is an accomplishment that I was not sure if I was ever going to achieve. Granted it took me four years on and off to get a two year degree, I did it with my husband stuck in bed on medications needing me nearly 24 hours a day, managing his appointments and medications, raising two boys under 5, moving four different times, and staying up until nearly 3 am every night to complete the assignments. I am proud of myself because I was not sure that I was even going to get out of bed on some days.
I will be returning to school in the fall to get my Bachelors. I am beginning to volunteer with an organization that helps wounded warrior families which makes me very happy. We will be moving once again here in a few weeks to a much better location for our family. Life is going good. I look forward to our future with optimism that I did not have before.